


One Love, One Lifetime

by teamchaosprez



Series: With the Stars and Us [5]
Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Author is trans, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Gender Dysphoria, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Misgendering, Post-Canon, Trans Male Character, Trans Shirogane Naoto, but like not on purpose or maliciously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23888122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamchaosprez/pseuds/teamchaosprez
Summary: As a detective, Naoto Shirogane cannot stand lying to himself, or his friends, or his husband.
Relationships: Shirogane Naoto/Tatsumi Kanji
Series: With the Stars and Us [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721764
Comments: 9
Kudos: 133





	One Love, One Lifetime

**Author's Note:**

> i havent written a proper fic in like five months but i love a them

About two percent of marriages are between high school sweethearts. Generally speaking, the odds of such a relationship resulting in marriage are twenty five percent. Not _bad_ odds considering all the romantic relationships in the world, but not exactly a unanimous trend either. Naoto found it odd, then, that so many members of their old investigation team - their old friend group, really, if you were willing to understate it like that - ended up marrying one another. Marrying people they’d known their whole lives, who they’d begun dating in high school or in their early college years… it was sweet, Naoto supposed, but almost _too_ much like a fairy tale.

Naoto didn’t think he’d end up among them. He thought for sure that he would stay skipping around the world, solving complex cases and staying in touch with his old high school friends - his family - without moving back to Inaba, without being forced to settle down and really think all that much about his identity or his appearance or anything because he was just _too busy_ for all that. 

Then he saw Kanji again.

Then he had a long-distance relationship with Kanji for three and a half years.

Then Kanji proposed.

Then they got married at the riverbed on a sunny day, surrounded by friends and family.

He was happy. The happiest he’d ever thought he would get, really. He loved Kanji with his entire heart, and making a more permanent move to Inaba to be in an environment he felt relatively safe and unthreatened in, surrounded by people he liked and was comfortable around, was much more painless than he’d expected it to be. He didn’t often leave for cases anymore after two years of marriage, putting most of his energy toward the smaller cases that the Shirogane family had always been best at. 

But slowing down gave him time to think.

Slowing down made him all too aware of what he looked like. What he sounded like.

Being around his high school friends forced him to stop wearing baggier clothes, to stop binding his chest, to stop lowering his voice. He didn’t think that they would be _angry_ with him if he started doing it again, exactly, but he knew that there would be many, many questions. More than he knew how to deal with. More than he could conceivably force himself to think of answers to - logical answers.

He couldn’t tell them.

Not after everything they saw.

_The truth is, you were never really a male to begin with!_

_Wow, your hair is so soft!_

_I have to stop running from myself._

_You curious, Kanji? Naoto, big melons or not?_

“Aww, you cut your hair again!”

He was cut off from his thoughts by the sound of Chie’s voice as he stepped off the plane. She stood in the airport with a sign reading SHIROGANE NAOTO, waving for them to come over. “Are you my ride home?” he asked, tilting the brim of his hat up a little so that he could see his friend a little better.

“Yeah, Kanji’s mom isn’t feeling good so he’s watching the shop alone,” Chie grabbed his arm as he finally stepped close enough, and tugged him along. “Yukiko wanted to come, but the doctor told her to stay at home after babysitting Airi for a weekend spiked her blood pressure.”

“I’ll just have to visit her later, then.”

Naoto wasn’t surprised. Yu and Yosuke’s daughter was a lot to handle even when you weren’t seven months pregnant, and Yukiko and Chie had spent far too much time and money and heartache trying to have a baby of their own to take any risks when they were so close to their firstborn.

He was happy for them, honestly, he was… as long as they weren't bothering him or Kanji to have a baby. Or have _two_ \- one to run Tatsumi Textiles, one to keep the Shirogane detective tradition going strong. It wasn’t that the idea of being a parent bothered Naoto - he knew he could take care of a child, and he was certain that Kanji would be an excellent father.

It was… the process of carrying and birthing one that bothered him.

Chie chattered on as she drove Naoto into the shopping district of Inaba; tired from the plane ride in from England and lost in thought, he was unable to do much more than hum along responsively and listen. When the athlete dropped him off at the textile shop, he received a big hug and had to promise that he would come to the inn soon to see Yukiko.

The detective straightened out his jacket, and sighed as he walked into the house.

* * *

It took three days for Naoto to break.

Everyone here knew they were biologically a woman. There was no getting away from it. They all knew and they all referred to him as it.

He hated his body. He hated his soft hair, his shiny skin.

But _especially_ his chest.

So, on the fourth day he was back in Inaba, Naoto wrapped his chest in bandages and went about his day as usual. He lowered his voice, he wore his masculine clothes, and everyone called him _sir,_ everyone recognized him as a man unless they’d happened to meet him long before and caught themselves on it. He avoided his friends and he kept out of the textile shop, spending his time at the Shirogane estate working or at Junes doing the grocery shopping instead.

He returned home feeling the most at ease he’d been in weeks.

He didn’t take off the bandages.

Kanji kissed him that night like the world was ending, kissed him and led him over to the bed. Naoto found himself getting caught up in the moment, leaning in for more. Seeking out Kanji’s touch, seeking out Kanji’s voice, seeking out Kanji, Kanji, Kanji…

Bigger hands ran up his abdomen, pulled open his button-up shirt and…

“... I thought you weren’t doin’ this shit anymore.”

“Huh?” A little disoriented, he pulled himself onto his elbows, and noticed… oh.

Kanji gently undid the bandages binding his chest, and he let out a sigh as breathing suddenly got much, much easier. The larger man kissed his collarbone, and then his chest, sat up and pulled him into his lap instead. Naoto bit his lip as Kanji gently kissed his cheek, nuzzled his head in his hair.

“Was someone underestimatin’ you for bein’ a chick again? I’ll kick their ass.” His voice was a little too soft, too concerned for his choice of words, as it always was. He sounded so worried, so loving, and Naoto couldn’t help guilt that built up in his chest.

He was so relieved when Naoto revealed that he was a _girl,_ because that meant he was straight.

“N-no, it’s nothing like that…” He shrunk into his husband’s grip a little, letting out a shaky sigh. How were they supposed to explain this?

How were they supposed to explain to someone that was born and bred in the tiny town of Inaba, who’d lived a good portion of his life up to his neck in toxic masculinity, that despite being born in what others would consider a _female_ body he was a _male?_

“You can tell me if somethin’s on your mind, Naoto. We’re married. We’re a team.”

But… Naoto couldn’t lie anymore.

“I… I’m a man, Kanji. I’m a guy. I can’t keep pretending to be a woman… I can’t keep ignoring who I am just because I was born in this body. Every day since I settled down here I’ve had more and more time to think and realize how unhappy I am.” He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes and tensing - fearing that Kanji would push him off in disgust. “I’m transgender.”

Kanji didn’t push him away. He went quiet, but he held Naoto a little closer.

“I love you,” the bigger man murmured, running his hand through Naoto’s hair. “I… honestly, the only reason I haven’t thought I’m gay is ‘cause I love you so much. I have since we were in high school.” He pressed a kiss against Naoto’s temple, and the detective felt like he might just cry. “I won’t pretend I understand any a’ this crap, but if you say you’re a guy, then you’re a guy. I love you - you’re the same person whether you’re a guy or a girl and I married you for you. I want you to be happy.”

Naoto’s breath hitched in his throat, and he clung a little bit tighter. “Thank you,” he whispered, a little too overwhelmed with emotion to say much of anything else. “Thank you so much.”

He loved this man. He loved him too much.

“Don’t go wrapping your chest up in bandages, though. That’s gotta make it hard to breathe.” His hand ran against Naoto’s collarbone, and he sighs slowly.

“It does,” Naoto admitted, his voice quiet as he stretched a little. “It’ll be a miracle if I don’t bruise from this. They sell binders that are made of spandex, but I wasn’t sure if…”

“We’re gonna order one in the morning,” Kanji murmured, gave him another kiss on the cheek. “And I’ll be right there by your side when you’re ready to tell everyone else, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> please comment if you enjoyed!


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